Do not get married, If….. [The concluding part] By ‘Lanre Bucknor


This is a sequel to an earlier published article. You can find the first part of these instructive nuggets here.

………..

​6. If you are not ready to stop competing with the Jones’. Let the Jones’ buy their yacht when you are still walking, and enjoy the walk.

 Your journeys are different. You must be ready to pace yourselves: stop competing, stop spending your future before you get there. Stop the debt, stop trying to impress people. More importantly, be content!

Enjoy your journey without deciding your happiness simply by measuring your progress against other people.

7. If you are not ready to be an open book. To tell the whole story of your past, deal with the memories, expose the failures and risk rejection. The past is a touchy and demanding friend. 

It doesn’t enjoy being ignored and the more you snob, the bolder it becomes and the more tantrums it throws.

It will mess up the “neat” and “all together lovely” image that you are struggling to maintain.

8.  If you are not ready to let go of your philandering and wild oats farming. 

Don’t take somebody’s son or daughter and subject them to your germs, your indiscretions and your chips fungus. It never ends well.

9. If you are not ready to let go of the adrenalin rush of a risque life and to settle down. 

The great Columbus had a diary that was long sought for. People wanted to read about the wild journeys, the sea tempest, the reckless pirates they fought, the death and the danger they must have encountered. When it was found, there was great disappointment.

Majority of the pages simply had 5 words: “This day, we sailed on.”.

Marriage, like life in general, has many “we sail on” days. You have to learn to find the thrill in the normal everyday of it

If you depend on wild romance, all night sex, romantic cruises, wild parties, compulsive moves across continents, tempestuous fights and make up sessions to be happy, you may be disappointed.

You have to learn to thrill in gentle smiles, loving hugs, knowing looks, cozy moments, shared chores, everyday work, dreaming together, PRAYING together and simply living together.

If these things are not thrilling, exciting and satisfying, you will look for a way out.

The one you choose must be thrilling to you even in the most mundane of moments.

10. Finally, don’t get married just because you FEEL, you will not feel forever. Love is hard, marriage is harder.

You’re in for a rude shock if you marry because you get butterflies in your tummy at the thought of him/her.

Most importantly, PRAY for your future marriage partner constantly! 

Finally, please get married for the prophet stated something instructive in the image below:

Lanre Bucknor writes from Lagos and is not the author of these nuggets but just fortunate enough to have shared these beauties as two blog posts.

Credit for this and the first part is due to the following:

Ope Ajala – @AjalaYemi on twitter, who faved the thread and created another thread of which this is one of.

A lady simply known as Flower with handle @missdimples_21 on twitter for sharing as a thread after someone sent to her too. 

And of course, to ‘Lanre, who can be found on twitter and Instagram via the handle @lordrooz

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4 Replies to “Do not get married, If….. [The concluding part] By ‘Lanre Bucknor”

  1. Well said bro, could not av agreed wit u more. If I didn’t know better, I’ll say u had to be speaking from experience. May Allah continue to bless u thru ur talent, may He also alwaz guide us ryt. Thumbs up.

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