Do not get married, If….. [The concluding part] By ‘Lanre Bucknor


This is a sequel to an earlier published article. You can find the first part of these instructive nuggets here.

………..

​6. If you are not ready to stop competing with the Jones’. Let the Jones’ buy their yacht when you are still walking, and enjoy the walk.

 Your journeys are different. You must be ready to pace yourselves: stop competing, stop spending your future before you get there. Stop the debt, stop trying to impress people. More importantly, be content!

Enjoy your journey without deciding your happiness simply by measuring your progress against other people.

7. If you are not ready to be an open book. To tell the whole story of your past, deal with the memories, expose the failures and risk rejection. The past is a touchy and demanding friend. 

It doesn’t enjoy being ignored and the more you snob, the bolder it becomes and the more tantrums it throws.

It will mess up the “neat” and “all together lovely” image that you are struggling to maintain.

8.  If you are not ready to let go of your philandering and wild oats farming. 

Don’t take somebody’s son or daughter and subject them to your germs, your indiscretions and your chips fungus. It never ends well.

9. If you are not ready to let go of the adrenalin rush of a risque life and to settle down. 

The great Columbus had a diary that was long sought for. People wanted to read about the wild journeys, the sea tempest, the reckless pirates they fought, the death and the danger they must have encountered. When it was found, there was great disappointment.

Majority of the pages simply had 5 words: “This day, we sailed on.”.

Marriage, like life in general, has many “we sail on” days. You have to learn to find the thrill in the normal everyday of it

If you depend on wild romance, all night sex, romantic cruises, wild parties, compulsive moves across continents, tempestuous fights and make up sessions to be happy, you may be disappointed.

You have to learn to thrill in gentle smiles, loving hugs, knowing looks, cozy moments, shared chores, everyday work, dreaming together, PRAYING together and simply living together.

If these things are not thrilling, exciting and satisfying, you will look for a way out.

The one you choose must be thrilling to you even in the most mundane of moments.

10. Finally, don’t get married just because you FEEL, you will not feel forever. Love is hard, marriage is harder.

You’re in for a rude shock if you marry because you get butterflies in your tummy at the thought of him/her.

Most importantly, PRAY for your future marriage partner constantly! 

Finally, please get married for the prophet stated something instructive in the image below:

Lanre Bucknor writes from Lagos and is not the author of these nuggets but just fortunate enough to have shared these beauties as two blog posts.

Credit for this and the first part is due to the following:

Ope Ajala – @AjalaYemi on twitter, who faved the thread and created another thread of which this is one of.

A lady simply known as Flower with handle @missdimples_21 on twitter for sharing as a thread after someone sent to her too. 

And of course, to ‘Lanre, who can be found on twitter and Instagram via the handle @lordrooz

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Do not get married, if… [A storified extraction] By ‘Lanre Bucknor

Books and social media have over the years form a part of my getaway from the physical world plan. The book part, I have toned down on, to a lazy stage, well, I have always been lazy. 

But on one of my forays into my social media getaway, I stumbled upon a series of tweets on Twitter, the one referred to as thread and so, I found it very instructive and decided to share. Of course, with the implied permission of the tweeter: “Flower – @missdimples_21.”

The lessons were broken into bullets and comes in ten parts but for the purpose of blogging, I have broken them into two parts. 5 bullet points for each blogpost.

Don’t get married;

1. If you’re not ready to delay gratification when your are angry. To hold your tongue, lower your voice and sometimes wait till the appropriate time, to deal with an issue thoroughly.

Immaturity is the inability to delay gratification. 

Marriage is for the mature!

 

2. If you are not ready to leave center stage and allow someone else to become your focus, your study, your muses – don’t get married.

Selfish people make very bad spouses. In marriage you don’t lose yourself but your heart has to be big enough to gain someone else.

 

3. If you are not ready to stand up and calmly deal with meddling in-laws as a united front: The opinionated sister, the insensitive uncle, the domineering father, the mannerless brother, the nosy aunt

 

4. If you are not ready to pay bills. LOVE DOES NOT PAY BILLS
Electricity companies will not give a waiver because your love is so strong and your gazes at each other are so romantic.

 

5. If you are not ready to let go of your opposite sex “best friends” and invest that into your spouse.

To like, to laugh, to play, to be silly and to enjoy life with them, above anyone else.

Most times Affairs happen because people did not marry their best friends. Someone else holds their heart. Someone else gets them better. Someone else inspires them more. Marry your best friend and cultivate your friendship so that you remain best friends.

To be continued……

The second and concluding part drops in a bit.

‘Lanre Bucknor writes from Lagos and he is not yet married. Read again, not yet married but will do so one day so soon for he is hungry to.

 

Please, do not ask him when he will marry, for he and everyone knows that the only day he will marry is on his wedding day which apparently isn’t here yet.

 

‘Lanre can be found on twitter and Instagram via @lordrooz handle.